There is an obese cow sitting on my front teeth.
My friends say they can’t see it, but cows aren’t meant to be seen.
They are meant to be felt and bring forth bulbous tears of pain to stream down your face.
Honestly people think WWE wrestlers are strong and – well they are – but comparing them to orthodontists is like comparing soft bread to rock hard fruitcake. Orthodontists have a strength so immense that it previously has never been seen by mankind.
You might question this claim because orthodontists usually don’t have big biceps bigger than your head, but the pain they bring could be comparable to any tae kwon do master.
They must secretly be skilled martial artists because when they give you pain, it’s not the kind that just stings for awhile and vanishes later. The pain from the orthodontist is long lasting, the kind that lingers for weeks and makes you cry for mercy when you try to eat eat anything with more substance than pudding.
And their weapon of choice is among one of the most feared metal contraptions known to mankind.
Sharp wires and solid brackets turn your mouth into a portable torture dungeon. Braces.
It has a 101% guarantee to inflict pain and suffering upon the victim with every use.
Funny they let you customize your colors thinking that it might make you feel better, but honestly who cares if the knife that’s murdering you is puke colored or celestial gold?
So don’t be fooled by the glasses wearing, skimpy looking orthodontist because your mouth is going to convince you that he is one of the strongest people you will ever meet.