an unscheduled schedule

You know in the movies where the character looks at a text message or email or whatever and then they you can actually see every structure inside them crumble into oblivion and then they break into tears because they found out some horrible news. I actually have no idea if anything like that ever happened... Continue Reading →

a sahara summer

Everyone, everybody, all the time just complains about the fleeting sweetness of summer. And yeah for us in school who are trapped in a robotic manufacturing line of wake up ~too early~ stumble around get to school stumble around a little more go home waste time sleep ~too late~, entering the world where the days... Continue Reading →

Missing mail

It's pretty frustrating lately because our house is under construction so it's a journey to get to our front door. A journey that requires walking on narrow planks over wooden framework, and a journey that most package carriers don't want to embark on. Amazon Prime is my lifestyle and I order packages like crazy. But recently... Continue Reading →

It’s not madness

When I was about eight, I decided that if I could brainwash my subconscious mind, then I could do the impossible. After reading this huge encyclopedia on the behavior and evolution of humans, I thought if I could manipulate my involuntary brain processes, like convince my neurons to never die and stop my cells from... Continue Reading →

Dental strength like cows

There is an obese cow sitting on my front teeth. My friends say they can't see it, but cows aren't meant to be seen. They are meant to be felt and bring forth bulbous tears of pain to stream down your face. Honestly people think WWE wrestlers are strong and - well they are - but comparing them to... Continue Reading →

Exposure leads to cancer

Prolonged exposure to radiation is supposed to put you at high risk of developing cancer. Only after I figured that out did I understand why my mom freaked out about the seven teeth X-rays I got in four days. That was just shooting radiation straight into my brain. Or something close to that. Well I noticed there's... Continue Reading →

Eat Brussels sprouts punctually

You know when you pile mountains of those evil Brussels sprout balls in the dark corner of your plate so you can enjoy your lightly breaded fried chicken in peace. And you're doing it with the knowledge that you're just sentencing yourself to a fate of terrible bitter torture by putting off the punishment for the future. Or that day where you... Continue Reading →

Playground game of death

Half dry mud caked my new jeans in spattered globs, and sweat matted my bangs to my face. Weeds crunched under flat soled converse and the arches of my feet stung unbearably. These shoes were't made for sprinting. But I had to keep running. And I had to run faster. We were running from the barbarians,... Continue Reading →

Wake up, it’s a dream

Disappointment is when you animatedly remind your circle of friends how fun your day out together yesterday was, and they look at you wide-eyed, confused as your loud voice bounces off the hallway. Embarrassment is when none of them remember that any outing existed. Then you vaguely remember turning into a crocodile during your McDonald's stop, and it hits you that your... Continue Reading →

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